Unbecoming

You bowl into my life like a Bludger.
Stupefy me with your charms.
Seek to enchant me
with quick snitch-like kisses
You introduce your penis to me
as Tom Riddle
and rename my pet rat “Scabbers”.

You tell me
I look like Luna Lovegood,
and buy me a wig and cloak,
despite the fact
I am Hermione-straight
with curls as tight
as the Weasley’s monthly budget.

I hand back the character
you wanted me to become
and buy you The Dice Man
as a break up present.

I watch your Facebook updates
with interest
and predict the probabilities
of six sides as I play you.

You develop a feather fetish
“Wingadium Leviosaaa!”
You are imprisoned
for killing a traffic warden
you thought was a dementor.

You lose Harry Potter imagery inside.
Too late for us.

My new girlfriend reads me to sleep
with Roald Dahl,
sings Dr Seuss in the shower
and seduces me with Milligan giggles.

Sarah L Dixon has toured a ten minutes x ten poets Arts Council funded format in 2014 and 2015 as The Quiet Compere. Sarah has been published in The Interpreter’s House, Stare’s Nest, Ink, Sweat and Tears, Loose Muse, BOMP 3, YorkMix and Rain Dog among others. Site here: thequietcompere.co.uk or @quietcomperemcr on Twitter.